Here’s to the ones who never left.

Ever been in a relationship that felt so surreal? Like as if nothing could possibly go wrong. everything that you’ve ever dreamed of felt like it is within your reach, scenes that you’ve only seen in movies suddenly became scenes of your own.

Days became weeks , weeks into months and months into years. Time had made you both stronger , inseparable , like nothing could stop you.

But then the unimaginable happened .

One stopped trying , one stopped caring , one chose to break the other’s heart. why? nobody knows, it is an inevitable situation that happens to almost every relationship. A bump will always come in your way that could either make or break the both you.

He cheated on you…

Years of love , trust , happiness , passion came all crashing down at once. Your terms of endearment, inside jokes, your cute baby talks are now things that you cannot call your own. The things that used to be exclusive for the both you were now invaded by an unwelcome guest , unwelcome by at least you. Dark shadows suddenly filled your mind , cold pricking currents instantly traveled your spine, you’re trembling but you can’t just cry. You’re now asking yourself why, but of course that is a question that maybe left unanswered even if time goes by.

You forgive but the pain remains , the nightmares and anxiety still stays within you. The fear of it happening again still haunts you , but you smile.

You pretend as if they never lied .

Revenge would do no good, it will eat up your soul until you’re left with nothing left to lose. Is it worth it? maybe . That you’re not sure. Then you’ll play your last cards hoping this time you won’t lose. Hoping they will not let you lose.

These decisions are hard to make, it will crush you until you’re beaten blue. But Honey it’ll make you stronger, it’ll make you unbreakable .

Sometimes people get lost , like a child that had lost his way. Guide them back home if you can, If they’ve chosen you after all the chaos that their wrong choices had made. If they’re brave enough to handle the after shake, Build them again .Is it worth it? Maybe. It is something for you both to find out.

So… Here’s to the ones who never left.

and to the ones who found their way back.

#hello2017

Hi. How do I start this.

Well I’ve always wanted to put up my own blog, you know, write about things that are usually flooding my mind, topics that I love to talk about, issues that I think I know what the solution is, but the problem is I almost too often chicken out, I get lazy asf and yes after a few tries I tend to forget it . But hey what other season’s for a mediocre person choose than new year’s day?  This is the time that most common people often think that they could start up something new . Something that might define them. Something that might bring a change. Well I honestly think I might get bored with this in the long run but I’d take my chances .

2017 … What difference could this year bring to me.

1.  live more and sleep less.

One thing about me is that I choose not to do things just because of my anxiety that I may not get enough sleep if pursue what I want to do within the day. But then today it hit me. I’m 23 not 7 , I don’t need a solid 9hr. Sleep , 6-7hrs. really more than enough.

Note to self : hunny you need to live within what’s real no matter how much you love playing in your dreams.

2.  Stop being a lazy potato and be fabulous!

Well things tend to be different now that I am a struggling millennial than I was when I was a happy go lucky “kolehiyala”.

Now I prefer comfortable than classy, I don’t do my hair,  don’t pick the right clothes and such the way I did when I was younger , everything seems fast paced now I felt the need to keep up but I  forgot that I also need to take care of myself as well. Guess I’ll make this year my beauty year .

Fingers crossed that I won’t get tired of it half way along the way.

3.  Let go . Let love.

2016 , left a big ugly scar in my heart. People who knows me could tell you why. I struggled for months and is still struggling now  I won’t go on detail why because my pain caused much havoc not just to me but for the people around me as well .

I will leave all the demons back where they belong and I’ll start fresh this year. Its easy to forgive but its hard to forget that’s the brutal fact , but now I’ll do what is less convenient for me to do. This year I will do both. I will forgive and yes I will forget. I shall cast these anxieties away and as cliche as it sounds I will be a better stronger version of my self.

Guess this is a wrap for my first blog.

Yes, hello 2017.